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Literature by theWitchofGrich

Literature by TerrifiedToForgetYou


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Submitted on
October 3, 2012
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1.4 KB
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400
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15

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Creative Commons License
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Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
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The strings dig deep into her veins.
She moves with them,
To dull the pain.
A painted face,
With a printed smile,
Her emotions left unversitile.

She dances alone, secluded,
Forlorn and deluded.
A disaster.
And only for her twisted master.
A mental crafter,
A vile bastard.

but this is a show.
the people can see it
the people they know,
this is no secret.
their eyes glazed over
like shes no longer there
ignoring her existence,
she finds comfort in despair.

welcome to the show.
on stage,    a girl
uncaged
who you might as well know.
Only I can see the tears,
And only I know all her fears.
I flick my fingers to the right,
On my command she stands up right.
I flick my finger to the left.
She'd murder all the ones she left.
she dances with a smile.
that does not reach the eyes,
it looks so sick and vile
a soul that believes its lies.

Maybe its love,
i've heard it's supposed to ache.
Or maybe she's insane,
because even the strong can break.
I don't know the reasons,
Or why she's bound and chained.
I just can't help but love it
Her face
so filled with pain.
with porcelain skin, and a fragile air of ash
her face was cracked,
just beneath the eyes.
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:iconthatpurpleraven:
ThatPURPLERaven Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
the poem, to me, seems perfect as is. the imagery is absolutely stunning, i think your diction is amazing, and there's a tangible emotion behind it. it's a perfect example of what literature is: something that lives and breathes. it's present and never dies.
Reply
:iconmierren:
Mierren Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks raven!
Reply
:iconinfinitexxx:
infinitexxx Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
i'm getting lots of imagery from this.... the whole puppet and puppeteer thing.
creepy, but fantastic. never change it <3
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:iconmierren:
Mierren Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
haha! thanx
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:iconbelarosewolf:
BelaRoseWolf Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Student Writer
This is a creepy little poem, isn't it? I rather like it, and I would leave it just so. Great work!
Reply
:iconmierren:
Mierren Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
haha! yes i hope thats what people think that i was aiming for. instead of imagining some creepy guy
Reply
:iconbelarosewolf:
BelaRoseWolf Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012  Student Writer
XD Well, at least you know that some people were right~
Reply
:iconschongslipper:
schongslipper Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hmm... I like all your imagery, but I feel like the rhyming is a bit forced at times. Also, just a suggestion, you might want to break the rhythm intentionally at some point. Currently, it's perfect, but that can make the poem sound a bit nursery-ish, which I don't think you were going for. It's a nice piece, and I hope this helps. It's purely my opinion, so you need not take any of this advice.
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:iconmierren:
Mierren Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks!
Reply
:iconvan-dunkelschreiber:
Van-Dunkelschreiber Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
this poem is great as it is, please don't change it
Reply
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