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The strings dig deep into her veins.
She moves with them,
To dull the pain.
A painted face,
With a printed smile,
Her emotions left unversitile.

She dances alone, secluded,
Forlorn and deluded.
A disaster.
And only for her twisted master.
A mental crafter,
A vile bastard.

Only I can see the tears,
And only I know all her fears.
I flick my fingers to the right,
On my command she stands up right.
I flick my finger to the left.
She'd murder all the ones she left.

Maybe its love,
Or maybe it's insane.
I don't know the reasons,
Or why she's bound with chains.
I just can't help but love,
Her face so filled with pain.

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ok originally i was gonna name this mari onett which sounds like a girls name but i feel this poem is still incomplete i will probably edit this and add more or take out things as time goes on but for now tell me what you think.
p.s. recently my friend has alerted me of the creepiness of this one. don't worry im not a creep. but then again saying this is redundant because it sounds like something a creep would say...

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Submitted on
October 3, 2012
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:iconthatpurpleraven:
Mood: Love ~ThatPURPLERaven Oct 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
the poem, to me, seems perfect as is. the imagery is absolutely stunning, i think your diction is amazing, and there's a tangible emotion behind it. it's a perfect example of what literature is: something that lives and breathes. it's present and never dies.
Reply
:iconmierren:
~Mierren Oct 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks raven!
Reply
:iconinfinitexxx:
~infinitexxx Oct 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
i'm getting lots of imagery from this.... the whole puppet and puppeteer thing.
creepy, but fantastic. never change it <3
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:iconmierren:
~Mierren Oct 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
haha! thanx
Reply
:iconbelarosewolf:
~BelaRoseWolf Oct 5, 2012  Student Writer
This is a creepy little poem, isn't it? I rather like it, and I would leave it just so. Great work!
Reply
:iconmierren:
~Mierren Oct 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
haha! yes i hope thats what people think that i was aiming for. instead of imagining some creepy guy
Reply
:iconbelarosewolf:
~BelaRoseWolf Oct 6, 2012  Student Writer
XD Well, at least you know that some people were right~
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:iconschongslipper:
=schongslipper Oct 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hmm... I like all your imagery, but I feel like the rhyming is a bit forced at times. Also, just a suggestion, you might want to break the rhythm intentionally at some point. Currently, it's perfect, but that can make the poem sound a bit nursery-ish, which I don't think you were going for. It's a nice piece, and I hope this helps. It's purely my opinion, so you need not take any of this advice.
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:iconmierren:
~Mierren Oct 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks!
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:iconvan-dunkelschreiber:
~Van-Dunkelschreiber Oct 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
this poem is great as it is, please don't change it
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